


I'm Here

by Marshmellow Bobcat (MellowBobcat)



Series: I'm Here, I'm Your Family [1]
Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, LV AU WEEK, Love, it gets fluffy, keith dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-13 22:01:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18039875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MellowBobcat/pseuds/Marshmellow%20Bobcat
Summary: “Tragedy blows through your life like a tornado, uprooting everything, creating chaos. You wait for the dust to settle, and then you choose. You can live in the wreckage and pretend it's still the mansion you remember. Or you can crawl from the rubble and slowly rebuild. Because after disaster strikes, the important thing is that you move on.”Tragedy strikes when Keith is murdered by the E-String Strangler. While Veronica crawls through the rubble of grief, Logan is there to help her rebuild. A LoVe story.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to CubbieGirl1723, who encouraged me to feed this little plot bunny until it was a fully grown rabbit. Without her support and beta skills this fic would be a grammatically incorrect paragraph. 
> 
> This is my 7 Chapter response to LV AU Week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PROMPT DAY ONE  
> “Come back to me.” / “Always.”

* * *

 

“I’m sorry,” Lamb mutters on his way out, and that— that bit of civility from the close, personal friend of the wizard— is what breaks her.

 Don Lamb is sorry.

 The words grow larger in her mind, taking up space, crowding out all other thought, seeping into the meticulously constructed compartments in her brain.

 The mechanical hum of the refrigerator underscores them.

  _I’m sorry._

 Her tongue darts out, soothing broken skin, and the metallic tinge of blood mixed with vanilla chapstick flavors them.

  _I’m sorry._

 Her chest constricts; her eyes lose focus. Her fingers go numb.

 “Veronica? Veronica? Come back to me.”

_Logan._

 Her head whips up, her eyes meet his.

 “Always.”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STAGE ONE: SHOCK  
> You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PROMPT DAY TWO  
> Secret Relationship  
> (Secrets are kind of hot, right?)

* * *

 “Forget it, Veronica.”

“Lo-"

 “No. You’re not going through this alone. It’s done; secret’s out.”

“The media is still an issue,” she reminds him. All this subterfuge was his idea after all...

 _It starts not long after Lilly’s fountain dedication. Now, instead of avoiding, Logan’s eyes meet hers when he strides past her locker. She’s surprised to find she no longer feels like a target. Her body stops tensing when he’s near._ _  
_ _A little after Christmas he asks her what exactly an evil-doer smells like. Then chokes out an amused little huff at her quick reply of “graham crackers and lies.” Remarkably, she doesn't feel like a punchline._

_Ms. Dent assigns them a joint article in Journalism. They huddle around the computer, reading it over, and his arm brushes against hers. She shifts a little closer, resting against him._

_And then... . And then his mom’s car is left idling on the Coronado Bridge. He begs for her help; and, for the first time, in a long time, she sees his heart. And then she breaks it._

_He is frozen, watching the figure on the video fall to the water. She tugs him out of the room, into her out-of-order “office;” and, when his too-tall body folds and his stupidly pretty face crumples she holds him steady, “I’m here. I’m your family. I’m here.”_  
  
_Logan’s_ _life_ _is_ _a_ _circus_ ; _his_ _disposition_ _is_ _c_ _ynical_ _at_ _best_. _So_ _when_ _weighted_ _stares_ _and_ _racing_ _pulses_ _give_ _way_ _to_ _heated_ _touches_ _and discarded clothes, he asks her if they can keep their relationship a secret. Something just for them; away from the prying eyes of the press. Veronica smirks. “Secrets are kind of hot_ , _right?_ ”

_Soon after that Logan’s dad is killed, death by crazy stalker. It barely blips their radar. Two months later Logan says, “I love you.” Two weeks after that Lamb says, “I’m sorry.”_

_And just one week later Veronica watches through dry, burning eyes as her own father is lowered into the ground. Logan grips her hand, “I’m here. I’m your family. I’m here.”_

“Hey! Veronica, are you listening? The point was to protect you from the media, not me,” he insists. “The E-String Strangler killed your father in the Neptune Record Shop. It’s news at 10. You’re news at 10. I’ve been news at 5, 10 and 11 my whole life. I’m not worried about me. All I want to do is protect you.”

She’s too tired to argue, and she’s not really sure why she is arguing in the first place. Logan needs to be there for her, and so she’ll let him. He’s family. And anyway, transparency is kind of hot, right?

“Okay, Logan. Secret’s out.”

* * *

Grief is exhausting for a girl who has spent the better part of a year locking down every emotion, shoring up every weakness. Everyone seems to require some sort of response from her, and she keeps forgetting her lines.

The wake is particularly difficult. They shove their condolences and casseroles in the void where her heart used to be, and she’s supposed to remember to say thank you.

Wallace’s mom says she’s welcome to stay with them, and Alicia has already walked away before it occurs to Veronica to be grateful.

Veronica’s own mother sloshes up to her, talking of moving trucks and job opportunities at Kane Software, and Logan pulls Veronica away before she can remember how to pick her jaw up off the floor.

Veronica never forgets that Don Lamb is sorry.

Maybe the night of Shelly’s party was a dream. She doesn’t remember it and Don Lamb was not sorry. And a drugged, sexually assaulted teenage girl would make anyone sorry, right? So… maybe it didn’t happen. It’s not real. It can hide in a compartment in her brain, locked away behind walls lined with combat boots and black eyeliner.

But now… now Lamb is sorry, and if Don Lamb is sorry then it’s real. It’s one of those real things. No hot air balloons, no clicking her heels three times. Home was a person and that person is gone.

* * *

 

The days sort of bleed together. She busisies herself with practical endeavors, like combing through her father’s belongings. It’s a vain attempt at keeping the pain at bay. But, for a while, Veronica is able to focus solely, and emotionlessly on the task.

Everything of interest she keeps or gives away. Pictures go in a box under her bed, Padres memorabilia to Cliff, old records to Alicia. Until something as innocuous as a toothbrush stumps her. _How can a toothbrush feel like an ice pick through her heart?_ She tosses it.

The normalcy is excruciating, and the pain infuriates her, but she’s going to get through through this.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STAGE TWO: PAIN  
> As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of pain.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PROMPT: DAY THREE  
> Prosthetic Love by Typhoon 
> 
> LYRICS USED FOR INSPIRATION  
> It's time I wake and I'm still alive  
> Now in my expiration date imagine my surprise
> 
> What I found was a gamble  
> You threw yourself in with me  
> Made a cross and you lit a candle
> 
> Of everyone I ever knew  
> I've gotten used to you  
> I've grown attached to you being here  
> With everyone I ever knew  
> I've learned to count on you  
> As my own fingers

* * *

Veronica is angry a lot. She doesn’t mean to be, but she can’t seem to help it. It’s not exactly a new feeling; she’s been angry since Lilly died. But now, any urge to bake is gone. The slightly-less-angry-young-woman underneath has disappeared.

Vinnie Van Lowe offers her a job, and Veronica is halfway through a blistering tirade before she realizes he’s doing her a favor. She’s too young for her PI license, and too proud to feel useless. She’s grateful, and annoyed that she’s grateful, and angry that she’s annoyed. She’s all over the place. She _knows_ that. And if she didn’t know, well, she can certainly feel Logan’s eyes watching her carefully, as if he’s afraid she’ll snap.

School is maddening. Everyone is treating her so _gently_. It’s all soft voices and sympathetic glances-it really pisses her off. After a particularly aggressive dodge ball incident, Ms. James calls her in and starts talking to her about “displaced aggression.” Veronica walks out mid-sentence. Later, she finds a grief pamphlet shoved in her locker, and she rips it into satisfyingly tiny pieces before throwing it into the garbage.

Home ends up being worse than school. With no other family in sight (because really, who counts Trina), Logan has been living in her apartment. He slept over that first day, and has come back every day since. She’s just grateful he’s with her. And things are _fine_ \- until her mother moves in. Apparently, not-yet-18-year-olds don’t have much of a say in the matter. And so, Lianne drags her luggage and disproportionately cheerful attitude into the apartment and seems to want some sort of prize. 

Her mother took the family savings and went running off to be the not-so-pampered paramour of Jake Kane ages ago. Lianne never looked back, so she must not have a problem with Celeste controlling all the purse strings. Her mother obviously never gave a shit about her before- at least not enough to, you know, actually _call_ her from time to time . So that’s why Veronica _knows_ that despite Lianne’s claims that “I love you sweetheart” and “Things will be different this time, you’ll see,” what her mother really means is “life insurance money.” Of course she’s only after the fucking money.

Veronica complains bitterly—and constantly—about it, and when Logan finally says, “Just let her have it, I’ll take care of us,” she sees red. And blue. And maybe a little green. _She needs air._

* * *

If she’s being honest, in some ways her mother’s presence becomes a relief. With Lianne there, Veronica’s perpetual anger has a stationary target; and here, the shots feel righteous, justified. So she keeps looking for opportunities to fire.

When Lianne first arrives, Veronica locks her dad’s room and makes her mother take the couch.

Every night, every fiber of Veronica’s being practically dares Lianne to question Logan’s presence in her bedroom.

Every morning, Veronica conveniently finishes the milk, even when new cartons show up in the fridge. _She can drink her coffee black._

Veronica is in the kitchen, gleefully pouring vodka-filled water bottles down the drain, when Logan comes in and places a packet of papers on the counter next to her.

“Emancipation papers?”

“Yes,” he answers simply.

“She signed them.”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“I spoke to Jake, he convinced Lianne it’s for the best.”

“And Dad’s life insurance money? It’s not hers, Logan. Nothing is hers. She left us. She left _him._ She doesn’t deserve anything.”  She hears the rage creeping into her voice. She doesn’t care about the money, but she does care about her mother playing the grieving widow to take something her father never wanted Lianne to have.

“I took care of it. She didn’t take anything of his,” Logan promises.

* * *

 With her mother gone, with no obvious targets in sight, the anger abates slightly, and Veronica is able to put her situation into perspective. Even though she thought her life ended with Lamb’s “ _sorry_ ,” she’s still here, still awake. Still alive. And she’s not alone, she has someone to count on. Someone who holds her every night when the anger turns to tears.

Logan threw in with her at his worst moment, and is still here through hers. Of all the people who have offered support, advice, and casseroles—she chose him. She is allowing him to witness the little broken pieces of herself—giving them all to him, until she’s ready to put them back together.

So yeah, she’s still angry, but maybe… maybe Logan would like some Snickerdoodles in his locker tomorrow.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STAGE THREE: ANGER  
> Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PROMPT: DAY FOUR  
> “Dance with me.”

* * *

 

The days meld together on a endless loop. School, work, home, bed. School, work, home, bed. She feels like she is waiting for _something,_ but she’s not sure what.

They’re in the home portion of the loop, relaxing on the loveseat, listening to music. Logan is lost in thought and Veronica is in the process of making the stripes on the ugly chair blur, with just the power of her stare, when Logan jumps up to grab her hands, pulling her off of the couch.

“Dance with me.”

_Okay…_

They face each other in her postage stamp living room, and she’s inexplicably nervous. His hands rest lightly on her waist, hers link around his neck, and they begin to sway. 

Veronica peeks up at him, then quickly away. Her eyes bounce around, she’s not sure where to look, but she ends up drawn in by his steady gaze, trapped by the heat between them. Her breaths get a little quicker, she can’t stop worrying her lip.

Logan’s head bends to hers, their foreheads touching as they dance. She starts stroking the back of his neck, fingertips just barely brushing his hairline. The feeling is heightened somehow, as if each individual hair is stroking the pads of her fingertips. His eyes never leave hers, never waiver; and her mouth goes dry.

She explores further, dipping her fingertips under the collar of his shirt, teasing his neck softly, feeling the goosebumps that raise in their wake. The fingers at her waist tighten almost painfully. It reminds her that with him, she’s not fragile, she’s not glass. Under his hands she’s burning flesh and pumping blood and aching bones. Her stomach clenches. She inches a little closer, Logan lets out a little “mmm,” and thats what does it.

She frantically crawls up his body, locking her legs around his waist. He presses her—hard—against the front door and fuses his mouth to hers. Her heart is racing, her hands have a mind of their own: roaming his body, tearing material, stroking skin.

She’s teetering on a precipice of need, but he’s got her. He’s here. And now, after days, weeks, months in the abyss, she’s here, too. 

She disengages, slides her legs down his body, steers him towards her bedroom, and pushes him onto the bed.

“Are you sure?”

“Shut up,” she orders, lowering her body down to his.

 

* * *

 

It’s not a switch, the pain doesn’t just go away. He’s good, but he’s not _magic. Well… maybe a little. She feels better than she has in a long time_ _,_ _at least._

The point is, the connection—the intimacy—helps. Grounds her. Everyday she’s feeling just a bit more present, a bit less floaty.

At school people stop treating her as if she’s fragile. Less like a kicked puppy and more like an unpredictable kitty—as if she might scratch at any minute, but it’s worth their risk.

During lunch her friends actually talk to her, not around her, and she replies. She thinks she replies. No one looks at her strangely so she must be doing okay.

At work, she’s more dialed in, losing herself in filing and background checks. She’s plowing through cases fast. Vinnie looks impressed (and maybe a little scared), but he takes her off the front desk. Apparently, her customer service skills are lacking. She's’ not rude, exactly. Veronica just can’t seem to make herself care that some Russian mail-order bride lost the love of her life.

At home she feels more like herself and less like herself than ever before. More like herself because she doesn’t have to act “normal” around Logan, but she’s not the same and she doesn’t know what to make of it.

She’s baking again—cakes still lean to the left—but she no longer hums while she’s mixing the batter.

She finds herself watching Padres games, and actually enjoying them as she allows herself to remember her dad’s witty commentary.

The first time she makes lasagna for dinner, she cries as she doubles the cheese.

Sometimes she’s still lonely. Sometimes she feels so alone it threatens to overwhelm her. And sometimes she sits on her loveseat and stares at the ugly, striped side chair she won’t let anyone sit in and forcibly reminds herself of how alone she actually is. She never wants to forget—she’s scared to forget.

But, despite herself, as time goes by the “sometimes” is turning into “occasionally.” Everyday gets infinitesimally easier.

Maybe that’s what she’s been waiting for.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STAGE FOUR: DEPRESSION, LONELINESS, REFLECTION  
> Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PROMPT: DAY FIVE  
> A line in the sand

 

* * *

“We have to move, Veronica.” 

“What?” Vernoica asks distractedly. She’s staring at her latest leaning cake. For the life of her, she can’t figure out what keeps going wrong.

“We have to move.”

“Why?”  _ Maybe if she adds extra frosting to the side no one will notice. _

“Because we’re sleeping on a waterbed. A twin waterbed.”

It’s his tone, more than his words, that penetrates her thoughts. She’s trying to puzzle out what about it throws her when she realizes—it’s the frustration. He’s frustrated. More— he’s  _ showing  _ her that he’s frustrated. She hasn’t heard that tone from him since before her dad-

“I’ve been trying to talk to you about this for months.”

_ He has?  _ She has definitely missed some things in the last few months but she thought that she had finally turned a corner.

_ The first time she laughs again, really laughs, it’s so rusty and unexpected that she startles herself. The guilt is fleeting, she barely loses a minute of the movie they’re watching. Logan must sense something’s off though, because he pulls her closer to him on the couch and rests his chin on top of her head. _

_ The first time she participates in class, there is a beat of silence before Mr. Rooks hastily continues the group discussion. He’s talking to her after class (“Come over if you ever need to talk; I always order too much pizza”) when Logan strides in and slides into the desk next to her. “Just waiting for my girl,” he explains cheerfully. _

_ At lunch, Veronica is absently picking at the food in front of her while chatting with Logan, Mac, and Wallace. She’s halfway through the period before she notices that Logan has been surreptitiously sliding food onto her plate. She realizes he must have been feeding her for months because, while she hasn’t felt hungry enough to eat, she hasn’t lost any weight either. _

Through her fog, and through her slow process of rejoining the world, her one constant has been Logan. He said he was here and he’s hasn’t left. He said he was family and he is.

And somehow, in all of her misery, she missed it. She missed all the little ways he’s held her up. Missed all of the little ways he’s steadied her. And, apparently, one of the things she has missed is this conversation he has been trying to have.

She glances around the apartment with new eyes, noticing boxes of his stuff tucked into every available corner.  _ When did that happen? _

Come to think of it, he took a shower earlier and if his not-so-muffled curses halfway through were any indication, he ran out of hot water. _Again_.

She knows that if she were to walk into her bedroom right now she would see piles of his clothes stacked up around her…  waterbed. She’s forcing Logan Echolls to sleep on a waterbed. A  _ twin  _ waterbed. Son of a Movie Star Sleeps on a Waterbed, news at 10.

Well, if this is his line in the sand then she’s going to be on the right side of it.

“Logan?” Her face is earnest. “We have to move.”

He scoops her up and she laughs as he carries her past the boxes, straight into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STAGE FIVE: THE UPWARD TURN  
> As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PROMPT: DAY SIX  
> Confessions

* * *

House shopping with Logan is...interesting. The first challenge is finding a realtor. They veto the first one immediately (being an enthusiastic Aaron Echolls fan is not a selling point). The next would require her to carry around piano wire, and she really doesn’t think she has room in her messenger bag. They finally decide to just do their own online research and hit some open houses.

The main issue is, of course, the house itself. Collectively they have been through: child abuse, murder, rape, suicide, murder (again), murder (again), and Neptune High; so they don’t really consider themselves children. However, the house thing is a little beyond their scope. They are still teenagers and can only draw from their own life experiences, which differ vastly.

Where she’s focused on sticking to a budget, (“We don’t want to be ‘house poor’ Logan!”) he’s focused on staying in the ‘09, (“I don’t even know what that is, we’re never going to be anything poor”).

Where he insists on privacy, (“I don’t want to have to dodge paparazzi while I get the morning paper”) she wants a neighborhood feel, (“What if I need to borrow a cup of sugar?”).

Speaking of food, he wants a house with a kitchen big enough to justify a housekeeper/cook and she… screw it, she wants a house with a kitchen big enough to justify a housekeeper/cook. _Relationships are about compromise, right?_

Veronica notices they have a hard time getting the realtors at open houses to take two "kids" seriously. She decides to don the fake CZ engagement ring she used to wear for undercover work, hoping for a little credibility. It seems to do the trick, and not just with real estate agents - bank managers, store clerks and insurance agents alike all fall before the power of the 5 carat CZ - so she takes to wearing it all the time. But she thinks it might weird Logan out. His eyes keep darting between it and her face.

She bets her dad will get a kick out of… right. House shopping with Logan, because….

She hasn’t forgotten. Of course she hasn’t forgotten, it’s just that sometimes she doesn’t actively remember.

* * *

They finally settle on a house that sits on the beach in the ‘09. She curbs her protests at the cost when Logan leans over her shoulder and enthusiastically points out the houses that closely borders theirs, (“Look! Neighbors!”). He’s just so cute, and Conner Larkin as a neighbor isn't the worst thing.

Their new home is a beautiful modern construction—all glass and light— open to the beach. Veronica takes a moment to wonder if her dad would have liked the house, and a second longer to feel relieved that she didn’t reach for her phone to call him this time. She thinks that’s progress.

* * *

Their first real fight comes a couple of days after the official move in. And honestly, he started it.

Logan is standing at the bathroom vanity, with just a towel slung around his very excellent hips. Veronica is watching through the door from her perch on their bed. She’s minding her own business, trying to will the towel to fall with just the power of her mind, when she hears him curse, then call out to her.

“Veronica?”

“What? What happened?” She reluctantly brings her eyes to his face.

“Did you use my razor?”

“I don’t know, maybe.” _Probably._

Turning away from the mirror to face her through the open door, Logan fires back with a two minute soliloquy on the sanctity of a man’s razor. She would be impressed if she wasn’t so confused.

“You’re really this mad about a _razor_? What’s the real problem here?”

He loses a little steam at that.

“You took it off,” he confesses sheepishly, glancing at her left hand. “And—“

“The ring?” She’s interrupts. “But it was fake.”

 _Oh, hey—there’s that frustrated look again._ She mimes zipping her mouth shut.

“Obviously, I know it was fake. But it just made me think… do you know we never discussed what this,” he gestures back and forth between them, “is?”

 _They haven’t?_ She sends him a surprised look.

“We went from secrets, to roommates, to roommates with benefits, to fake married, to...homeowners with benefits? I don’t even know.” He shrugs lamely. “And, listen Veronica, I’m not saying I want to be married right now. We’re teenagers, I know that. But...I guess...I just want to make sure that you’re in this with me.”

“Logan, we just bought a house together. What did you think that meant?”

At his shrug Veronica wonders if having so much money makes things like buying a house meaningless. Regardless, if by now he doesn’t know how she feels then she owes it to him to clarify. She’s not a huge fan of emotional expression, but for him she’ll pick up the talking stick and share with the class.

She raises her eyebrows at him and brings her index finger and thumb together at the corner of her mouth.

He rolls his eyes and nods.

She unzips.

“Well, Logan, I think our story is kinda epic.”

“Epic? Epic how?” The word choice seems to startle him.

“You know…. Our parents are gone. Blood shed at the bottom of the ocean and on the floor of a record store. I thought our lives were ruined, but...” She trails off, looking for the right words.

The live together. The support each other. They’re the only family, worth mentioning, that each has left. He knows that. So, what is she missing?

She starts again.

“Okay, maybe I’m not good at saying it, maybe I express my feelings in more practical ways like buying a house or tracking your car, but Logan, I do love you. I’m here. We’re-,” he strides over to the bed and covers her mouth with his.

“Shut up,” he orders playfully.

Later, she’s almost asleep when his voice penetrates the darkness. “Veronica. Is there a GPS tracker on my car?”

There’s a beat of silence before, “I’ll take it off tomorrow.”

* * *

On the way to school the next morning, they’re each lost in their own thoughts. At the first red light they hit, without taking his eyes off the road, Logan hands Veronica his cell phone.

Grabbing it, she wordlessly pops open the back. She removes and pockets the small tracking device next to the SIM card, closes it, and hands it back to him. She already took the tracker she had placed in his car off earlier this morning.

At his reproachful look she’s emphatic, “It’s _romantic_ . It means I _literally_ don’t want to lose you.”

He doesn’t respond, but the corner of his mouth kicks up in a tiny smirk.

As he parks his giant rubber duckie, he reminds her, “We have the college fair after school today.” At her incredulous look he just waggles his eyebrows suggestively, “Or we can skip it and work on getting your MRS degree.”

She grins. Somewhere along the way she started judging her progress by how Logan treats her. If he can fight with her, lobby terrible jokes and sexual innuendos at her, that must mean she’s coming back. They’re settling into old rhythms; making new ones. They’re going to be okay.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STAGE SIX: RECONSTRUCTION AND WORKING THROUGH  
> As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But first, some housekeeping:
> 
> Thank you for reading! This entire process terrified and awed me.
> 
> Thank you to nevertothethird for hosting this challenge- it was extremely inspiring!
> 
> Thank you to AlinaSorokina who made the most beautiful cover for this story. Find it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18092261?view_adult=true
> 
> The Pinterest Board link for this story is in the end notes, so that they’re no spoilers.
> 
> I have this completely written from Logan’s perspective. It’s way less sad. Missing scenes, how he actually got rid of Lianne , his version of their secret relationship. I had a ton of fun with it! I’ll start posting it in a couple of weeks. 
> 
> PROMPT: DAY SEVEN  
> Camelot

* * *

 

STAGE SEVEN: ACCEPTANCE AND HOPE

During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy.  **But you will find a way forward.**

* * *

 

While Veronica still misses her dad, gone are the days where she feels like she is floating through life: where nothing matters, yet every detail is significant. She still has days where the heartache is so debilitating that she has trouble getting out of bed, but those days are rare-- the sometimes has finally turned into “occasionally.” She’s figured out how to function with the constant ache. Apparently this is what healing looks like (she may have  _ glanced  _ at the pamphlet Ms. James left her). 

* * *

Her heart breaks a little when, at the end of Junior year, she realizes she is only going to apply to colleges within a two hour radius of home. Which leaves Stanford out. Changing her life plan, the plan she and her father discussed countless times, is sad but it’s something Veronica feels is necessary. She’s lost too much at this point to leave Mac and Wallace, and they have their minds set on Hearst.

Leaving Logan will never be an option, they’ve already agreed to attend the same school, so that’s one less thing to worry about. At least their priorities are aligned. That took some work.

_ Things go pretty well until right before the end of Junior year. Classes are winding down, but with less time needed to devote to homework they have a difference of opinion on what they should do with their summer break. Veronica wants to add more hours to her work schedule and continue to visit colleges. She has been a mini-adult since the first time her mother left—working, paying bills, making meals—and so, in her mind, with zero “adults” in the house, they have even more of an obligation to buckle down. _

_ For Logan, he says that when he lost his mom it wasn’t like he lost a responsible parent he feels the need to replace, and losing Aaron means freedom. Logan says he wants to go to the zoo, blow off work (her work) and get ice cream at Amy’s. He wants to go to Mexico (“or Fiji or Tahiti. Come  _ on, _ Veronica”). _

_ When on their Junior class trip his “need to be free” lands him in the security office at Magic Mountain—sitting sullenly in chair, a Versace duffle bag of beer by his feet—she is furious. One cancelled Junior prom later and she knows she has to capitulate or they are going to have some serious problems. She she compromises on a summer vacation in Italy. _

_ Once they return from three weeks of sun-soaked sex and truly incredible food, she’s willing to admit that comprise isn’t all bad. Logan even agrees to go on more college visits with her. It takes conscious effort on their parts but they’re figuring things out. _

 

* * *

At the start of Senior year, Duncan Kane knocks on their door; and, when they open it, thrusts an open shoe box filled with video camera cassette tapes at Logan. Glancing briefly at Veronica, Duncan flatly explains that they were converting Lilly’s room into a nursery for the soon-to-arrive Manning/Kane baby when he remembered Lilly’s favorite hiding place. Finding tapes clearly marked “Echolls/Kane” he “obviously” assumed they were sex tapes, and dumped them in a box for Logan.

“Thanks, man,” Logan mutters with a nod and closes the door as Duncan walks away. They may have been best friends, but that was a long time ago. These days, they barely speak; that exchange was pretty much the extent of their civility—Duncan’s detached attitude being the main reason for their estrangement. As Logan put it, “Hard to have an actual conversation with a zombie.” From what she has witnessed, Veronica can’t help but agree. How Duncan managed to get “excited” enough to father a child is beyond her.

Still standing in the foyer, Logan hands the box to Veronica, “Lilly and I never made a sex tape.”

10 minutes, and one fist through a wall, later, they are contemplating their options. Both are pretty sure they know what happened, and Able Koonz killing Lilly Kane isn’t it.

In the end, they decide to let the truth lie. Able passed away in jail, not too long after Veronica’s father’s funeral, making everyone directly involved dead. The siren, the malicious lover, the patsy, even the righteous Sheriff—all gone. Advertising the truth would only open old wounds and renew media attention. The Kanes are satisfied with the answers they have; and, truthfully, Veronica and Logan are not willing to risk the peace they fought and scrapped for.

That night, the tapes go into the fireplace, along with the Lilly Kane Murder Files Veronica removed from her dad’s closet before they moved. She always meant to go back over the case, but her own grief sidetracked her. Now, at least, she has answers. Veronica’s head rests on Logan’s shoulder as they watch the flames.

She thinks it’s cathartic, and pretty, watching the fire swell as it eats the proof of their traumatized past. She finds herself vaguely wishing for some marshmallows to roast. 

* * *

The rest of Senior year is pretty uneventful. Veronica and Logan have found a, mostly, agreeable balance of work and play. Veronica is feeling engaged, connected to the world. She even agreed to go Senior prom. Like, actual prom, not limo prom. She thought for sure that it would be cancelled, but it seems that without Logan leading the ‘09er debauchery charge, Senior prom is a go.

On the big night, Veronica takes one last look in the mirror, smoothing her hands down her hips, trailing her fingers over her intricate updo. The wide, open neckline of the dress and the circlet of braids in her hair are a nod to this year’s Camelot prom theme.

The rest is all Lilly. Or-- it’s Lilly’s  _ Veronica Mars _ ; the Veronica that Lilly recognized as a kindred spirit all the way back in second grade. The sheer bodice of the dress has precisely placed silver embellishments that clearly emphasize her peak braless years. The shimmering champagne colored skirt is a lush step up from yellow cotton.

Veronica has made her peace with Lilly, and knows that her incorrigible best friend would be proud.  _ Dad would be proud, too. _

She walks down the floating staircase into the kitchen where Logan is expertly leaning against the marble island. He’s decked out in a gray tux with black trim.  _ God, he looks good. _

Her braless years must be working for her, because there’s a hungry look on his face that has her running some mental calculations. Adding in the time it would take to redress and freshen up, she concludes that it just won’t work. Usually she’d be willing to risk it, but their limo is picking up 3 other couples, including Logan’s new friend Norris Clayton—she’s not sure how that happened—and his date. Looks like she is just going to have to be responsible girl. Veronica’s conclusion must show on her face because Logan pouts (the lip almost breaks her) before taking her hand.

“Milady,” he bows with a flourish, raising her fingers to his mouth. His lips linger on her skin, his teeth take a tiny, shallow nip at the tip of her knuckle and his tongue laps out to soothe it. Her breath shudders out. That did it. They’re going to be late.

On their way back up the stairs he says with faux meekness, “Just please, watch the hair.” 

_ Jackass. _

* * *

A year into college, Veronica decides to change her major. Logan firmly believes that people rarely get jobs related to their field of study (his mom’s publicist majored in Biology, of all things) and recently he has been urging her to have fun with her classes. He says they deserve a little fun. Logan is majoring in English, with a concentration in Irish Literature (he inherited his mother’s love of James Joyce), and minoring in Economics.

As for her, she bumps her Criminology major down to a minor to focus on Photojournalism. Hearst doesn’t offer a formal Photojournalism major, so she will have to double major in Photography and Journalism. Another deviation from the Daddy/Daughter Life Plan, but one she hopes would be Keith Mars-approved.

* * *

When Logan proposes, the “Yes” pops out before she even realizes she said it. Maybe in another life she would have been more cynical; taken more time to think. But the worst thing has already happened to her, and Logan has been her rock ever since. He’s already family, the ring is just a formality.

A few days later, they are at weekly Thursday Night Trivia with Mac, Wallace, Parker and Piz. Veronica is “subtly” waving her left hand around, using it to drink, eat, and gesture. She’s wondering if she can figure out how to write left-handed as well when Mac squeals, “You’re engaged!”

_ Finally _ .

“Who, me?” Veronica asks coyly, placing her left palm on her own chest dramatically.

“Aren’t you married already?” Piz cuts in affably, which Veronica reads as snide. It’s not his fault really. It’s just that he’s a Nice Guy™; and, in her experience, no one is that benign. Nice Guys™ turn into Zombies™ and then knock up Disney princesses. Still waters are just puddles over mud.

“No Piz, we’re not married,” Veronica answers dismissively, catching Logan suppressing a grin as she turns back to Mac.

 

* * *

 

They’re watching the sunset over the water from their raised patio, quietly sipping  glasses of wine.

“Here. A graduation gift.” Logan slides a large red bow towards her.

“A bow? You got me a bow? How did you guess?”

“Open it, smarty pants.”

She flips it over. “A key? For what?”

He taps the top of the small metal key. Scrutinizing it, she notices a tiny Mars Investigations logo etched there. Her eyes widen.

“What did you…. You bought the building, didn’t you?”

“Yup!”

“Do you do anything normal? And how did I not know about this?”

“Do  _ you _ do anything normal? And, it was surprise. You know what a surprise is don’t you?” He taps her nose with his index finger. “I was going to give it to you at high school graduation, but it seemed too soon. Then I thought maybe your birthday or Christmas, but the timing never felt right. We’re graduating college soon and I figured you should have it.”

He then adds in a rush, “You don’t have to reopen Mars Investigations. You rarely use your PI license now anyway. You can make the place a space to write, or use it as a photo studio. I just want you to know it’s there.”

 

* * *

Veronica wants to go to have a simple ceremony in the courthouse. Logan keeps insisting that the courthouse will give him a rash. They compromise on a small ceremony on the beach in front of their house, with a larger (fancier) reception inside.

Logan takes full responsibility for the reception and, as usual, goes overboard. He wants caterers, he wants a band, he wants rose-gold gilded cutlery, he wants ( _ ugh _ ) centerpieces. And she wants him happy. So she throws open the accordion glass door between the living room and the patio and let’s Marie Danielle,  _ the  _ event planner to the wealthy, go to work.

Veronica even keeps the eye rolling to a minimum. And maybe, just maybe, there’s a bit of Pink Veronica left in her, because she gets a little misty when she sees the finished product, stupid centerpieces and all.

* * *

When the three price orchestra starts the opening strains of “Moon River,” Veronica walks herself down the flower-strewn aisle, her head held high. Despite offers from Cliff, Wallace, Vinnie, and even Logan, she has decided that if Keith Mars can’t walk beside her, no one will. She’s strong and she’s sure. She may be dressed like Barbie, but she’s Daddy’s Little Action Figure through and through.

Marching slowing towards the arbor, that Logan insisted on having custom made, Veronica sees Dick and Norris standing to one side, looking indifferent and nervous respectively. Mac stands on the bridal side with Wallace, who is decked out in a suit matching the groomsmen-- he absolutely refused to wear the darling little Art Deco, rose-colored number she picked out. And there, in the center, is Logan, the man she’s been walking towards since she was 12.

Veronica gets to the end of the aisle and waits. Logan is supposed to go to her, kiss her cheek, and take her hand. Then they are supposed to walk the final steps together to stand in front of the judge. They practiced this. Yesterday.

But Logan is just staring at her with a schmoopy look on his face, and he’s not moving. The music starts over again and he still hasn’t moved.

She makes aggressive eye-contact, willing him to remember his part.

He smiles softly at her.

Finally, she tilts her head to the right and jerks it back, over her shoulder, in a “get over here” gesture. That snaps him out of it.

The reception isn’t as bad as she thought it might be. Everyone keeps calling her Mrs. Echolls and that weirds her out, but she’s having a good time. And she feels good. Really good.

They’ve been living together for years, Logan always introduces her as “the missus,” so she didn’t expect to feel any different. She was set on the courthouse because she was convinced that it was just a piece of paper. But she surprises herself-- this feels permanent. Binding. Unalterable. Like family.

By the end of the reception Veronica’s smile is strained, and she is losing her patience. She had balked at hiring a photographer (“I’m a photographer. I don’t need someone else taking pictures of my wedding”) and is already regretting giving in. They are posing for their thousandth picture when Logan leans down and whispers in her ear, “Relax Sugarpus, it’s for the kids.”

_ Kids?!? _

 

* * *

They name their son Anthony Keith, after the famed Padres right-fielder, Anthony Keith Gwynn Sr., also known as “Mr. Padres.” They see the shared name, “Keith,” as a fortuitous bonus, a fitting tribute that Keith Mars would get a kick out of.

It takes longer to settle on a name for their second child, a girl. Veronica’s rule of “no ex-girlfriends, no ex-hook-ups” leaves Logan oddly silent. Apparently the time between Lilly and her was prolific. She’s running out of name suggestions (and every veto is pissing her off) when he suggests Joyce—Joy for short. She thinks his mom would get a kick out of it.  

 

* * *

Tony and Joy are… well, they’re certainly the products of Logan Echolls and Veronica Mars. So Veronica and Logan are not surprised when they get called into the principal's office (again) two months into Joy’s freshman year.

Their heated debate on what could have happened this time turns into an impromptu makeout session in the Neptune High parking lot, and they’re running late for their meeting with Principal Clemmons.

They end up jogging down the hall to make up a little time. They’re almost at the door to the Principal’s office when they overhear the nasal voice of the receptionist question, “And where is your family, Miss Echolls?”

Moving a little faster Veronica and Logan rush through the door.

“We’re here!” Veronica calls out.

“They’re my family,” Joy adds, pointing and shaking her head at her clearly flustered, and disheveled, parents.

Veronica looks at Logan with a knowing smile.

They found a way forward, together.  

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Veronica’s journey through grief is loosely based on the Seven Stages of Grief Model found here: https://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html. 
> 
> Pinterest Board: https://pin.it/5mpdkv5ty27imu

**Author's Note:**

> I will cite my source in the last chapter, so I don’t spoil anything.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [(Cover) I'm Here by Marshmellow Bobcat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18092261) by [AlinaSorokina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlinaSorokina/pseuds/AlinaSorokina)




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